Barack’s recipe for a second term!


Hi! I'm Barack Obama! Some of you may know from my disastrous first term as President...well, disastrous for you, good for me! If you want to guarantee a second term in political office, here's my 'secret' recipe! You can tailor it to your specific needs, but the ingredients are basically the same. Give it a try! I'm sure you will not regret it!

First, and foremost, it’s important to use a huge, heapin’ pile of lies! Lots of ’em, as they are the key ingredient to your second term.

Second, make sure you have a willing and complicit media on your side. They go very well with and enhance the flavor of the lies.

Here’s what I’ve included in my recipe for a second term…

1 part class warfare..i.e., pitting anyone that doesn’t work against anyone that does…

2 parts tax increases…you can use any type you like..be creative, too…..for me ‘Obamacare’ is a tax, except when it’s not. Also, you might consider a delicious tax on Americans earning over a certain income amount…in addition to the regular income tax, mind you..

1 part ‘no energy policy’…you can substitute ‘green energy’ for an ACTUAL policy, if you like…the generic ‘green’ energy is basically flavorless…

1 part alienation of our so called ‘allies’..no make sure you use one that packs a lot of punch…Israel has worked very well for me!

2 parts ignoring real threats to world peace and stability…I’ve found Iran and North Korea add a lot of flavor to my re-election bid…

1 part “reaching out” to the media figure du jour…check your news cycle…see what’s fresh…my latest batch included a big mess’ o’ Sandra Fluke…works great!

1 part (or 2) Supreme Court judge(s) If you can pack the bench with favorable appointees, there’s no tellin’ how far you can stretch your ‘second term’!

1, 2, or 3 parts promises to as many groups as possible…check to make sure the constituent’s desperation is fresh…I find whatever group is hurting the most that day and promise them as much as possible!

Mix all of this together and sprinkle with ‘blame the opposition’ to suit your taste! I like this flavor enhancer quite a bit, so I use it liberally!

Bake in a the pre heated oven of an election campaign and I can almost guarantee you, your stinkin’ casserole of fresh lies and mish mash of promises will turn out great!

Enjoy your second term! I know I will!

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